The Umbra

"She pointed at the dark figure accusingly, "You are nugatory and contemptible!! Stay away from me!!!" She remained in her disposition, her confidence and intuition told her that the figure would leave. Confidence and intuition were such liers. Then, the clouds started to shroud the moon and nigritude came. the figure continued to stand there, pointing at the vast darkness... alone this time. She was gone. Like the moon, she has been enveloped by the darkness..."

Have u ever been mocked at? What kind of words hurt u the most?
Does "Can u PLS dun b SO useless/stupid/blur/clumsy anot?" Ring any bells?

While I bet all those words are enough to make anyone flinch, it is insignificant compared to the pain induced from hearing those words from the mouth of someone close to you.

Imagine you've been ostracised and labelled as a 'bastard' for as long as you can remember. You seriously hate that and desperately wants to change others' impression of you. And so you have tried all means to be kind, humble, etc, but 'accidents' would still occur occasionally. When that happens, your brother (knowing very well that it's your sore spot) says, "Fwah... gor, do u know u r such a bastard??"
*Ooowwwww!*

I believe a normal person's instant spontaneous reaction to 'my brother' will be, "WTF?!? What did I do to deserve this??? Ridiculous!!!" He or she may feel hurt at an intricate level too. Upon further brooding however, other thoughts and feelings may come into mind.. Anger perhaps? "Who is HE to pinpoint me and say that I'm a bastard??", "He is not flawless wad and I can SEE his imperfections like a fugly zit on his face too! He's like a fool borned blind, unable to comprehend the true meaning of 'rosy cheeks'. I should use it against him! Let me just HURT him, he started it anyway..." So... does it end here?

Far from it.

Some who are wise will immediately recognise such sensations as 'anger' or 'vengefulness' and fully understanding their nature, will detach themselves from those emotions quickly. Others who are not so 'immune' to such conditions may find hating someone quite invigorating. Even thinking of words that may cause your 'victims' to react accordingly at your discretion is stimulating. You feel powerful that you have the capacity to inflict pain. Subsequently, you will want to indulge yourself in such thoughts and emotions.

"Under my shirt, the heavy barrel rubbed painfully against my waist. I welcomed it."

Now, I shall go back to the beginning... Let's discuss this at a different point of perception. Why does it actually hurt when someone accuse you of something? Perhaps it sways the very fundamentals of your principles in life? It disorientates you by questioning your beliefs? Shall we stop and ponder about it?

What if your principles have been based on nothing, or worse the 'wrong' (this leads to another debatable topic) things? Maybe your beliefs gives you only satisfaction but no true meaning? Simply put, it is possible that you have been living in delusion and denial. For example, maybe you ARE a bastard after all, but it's just that you REFUSE to accept it. You resent others for reminding you of your very own flaws and blame them for all your misery. You hope that the world will someday become 'enlightened' and realise how 'wrong' it is...

So here comes the million dollar question...





Do you know who you are?




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